Game of Thrones Season 2, Sansa Snark Blog- Episodes 1-5

I’ve started watching Game of Thrones. Everyone acts like it is a gift of the old gods (and new!) to television, but is it? (Probably not, but it is really good.) Stay tuned for regular updates as I post my comments and observations on the show, season by season, episode by episode. These posts will have no real structure except to disrespect the obvious hard work that goes into creating a show of this scope and magnitude. Shall we?

Previously on Game of Thrones… Violence, nudity, nudity, violence, Hodor, dragons.

And now, Season 2 of Game of Thrones.

Episode 1

– The North Remembers (and so do I, because I just finished the previous episode a few days ago.)

– I’m still trying to understand these family dynamics. Does Cersei not like Tyrion?

– “My brother was soooo lame, he didn’t even know the first thing about dragons.” -Daenerys Targaryen, honoring the memory of her brother as you might expect.

– So Jorah Mormont is played by a holographic Charlton Heston, right?

– Finally Stannis is revealed. Yay, more characters to have to try and recall. I’ll just remember him by his defining trait: he hates everyone. Should be easy.

– “God mom, can’t you just negotiate a war ally for me?!” –Robb Stark.
– “God mom, can’t you just let me ruthlessly torture my people?!”- King Joffrey. Looks like these two aren’t so different after all.

– What is any episode of television without a good baby killing montage?

Episode 2

– As it has been established that both no one trusts the eunuch, and that the eunuch cannot be trusted, I sense only bad thing ahead for Tyrion and Shae.

– If there’s a show that hops between climate zones more than this one I haven’t heard of it. We’re in the forest, a city, snow, a desert, and on the water in like eight minutes.

– There’s only two things in this world that haunt Lord Baelish: baby murder, and a bad investment.

– A sad homecoming for Theon Greyjoy, who both has no respect from his father, and tries to bed his own sister. Apparently, the Greyjoys is where this story draws the line on incest.

– Stannis and Melisandre have sex on the battle plan? There’s a metaphor in here somewhere.

Episode 3

– Everyone’s pissed at Jon Snow, but all he really wants to do is help cut down on the gross amount of child (let alone baby) death that occurs in the universe of this show. Keep doing you, Jon Snow.

– Hodor!

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– Loras got beat by a girl!?!? You get all up in that Kings Guard, Brienne of Tarth!

– I wonder if Renly’s body hair has come back in yet?

– Season 2 Winter update: It’s still coming.


– “Come on gay man to whom my marriage is a sham because you’re in love with my brother, put a baby in me.”

– Theon chooses his family over his “family” or is it the other way around?

Episode 4

– Robb Stark has never been more attracted to a woman than when she’s sawing another man’s rotted foot off. Oh, young love.

–  No wiser words have perhaps been spoken than, “There’s no cure for being a cunt.” Thank you Bronn, thank you.

– The nude scene in this episode took a real dark turn. Joffrey is one fucked up pre-teen. But then again, aren’t they all?

– Sucks to be Polliver and The Mountain, who just earned themselves a spot on Arya Stark’s Intergalactic Hit List.

– This haughty merchant guy.

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– Daenerys called it Quarth! What a faux pas!

– There’s a shadow monster coming out her vagina?? Does she call her vagina “the night” or something, because it seems like it’s dark and full of terrors.

Episode 5

– So Renly gets stabbed by that freshly birthed shadow monster thing… I don’t know, I just feel like there’s just so many unanswered questions.

– “Anyone can be killed.” -Arya Stark or George R.R. Martin?

– This “Arya gets to name any three people to be killed” development just became my favorite subplot. So intrigue!

– Aww, wittle bebe dwagon bweathing a tiny fire.

– Two new characters to watch out for: thin, bald, illusionist guy and lady with a gold girdle on her face.

– Xaro sure has a way with woman. “Just marry me and I’ll give you money for armies and fleets and stuff. Acceptable terms? I slashed my own hand open for you, after all.” Will Daenerys ever meet the right man?

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