I’ve started watching Game of Thrones. Everyone acts like it is a gift of the old gods (and new!) to television, but is it? (Probably not, but it is really good.) Stay tuned for regular updates as I post my comments and observations on the show, season by season, episode by episode. These posts will have no real structure except to disrespect the obvious hard work that goes into creating a show of this scope and magnitude. Shall we?
Previously on Game of Thrones… Baby Murder, Hit Lists, Vagina Monsters, Theon Stuff. So Engage.
And now, the conclusion of Season 2 of Game of Thrones.
Episode 6
– This week in Theon Greyjoy gets no respect… He captures a city and everyone still treats him like crap, so he cuts Ser Rodrik’s head off. So much misplaced angst.
– Don’t forget, Tywin and Jaime are people too, with real life problems, ok guys?
– Good thing illiterate guy with a cape was illiterate and good thing Arya still had two death favors left. WHO WILL BE HER LAST VICTIM???
– Robb Stark and Lady Talisa joke about her being a spy. But here’s the rub, she’s going to turn out to be a spy.
– Damn, Ygritte is cute. And she totally wants Jon Snow’s Jon Snow.
Ooooooh DREAM WEAVER!
– Brienne pledges her loyalty to Catelyn Stark. Yeah, this won’t end up going horribly wrong.
– Theon Greyjoy, I’ve got a feeling you and your whole family are going down.
Episode 7
– It’s finally been confirmed for the first time that Jon Snow, in fact, knows nothing
– “I just want my kids back!” -Daenerys Targaryen.
– It’s just like they always say Jorah, “Dragons are the key to a woman’s heart (especially when she’s the mother of all dragons.)”
– Ugh, worst time for Sansa to have her period. Also, The Hound immediately shows up because I guess hounds smell blood or something really creepy when you think of the symbolism (especially after he saved her from being raped last episode (amirite?))
– Cersei is really selling Joffrey to Sansa with all these tales about how he’s going to be total ass hole to her.
– “Jaime Lannister, what a scumbag for killing that king that was massacring the innocent!” -Everyone in this show, for some reason.
– Jaime also has quite the beard coming in now that he’s just been sitting in the mud, shitting on himself this whole time.
Episode 8
– This Lord of Bones guy.
– Easiest way to reduce theft: kill all known thieves. Take note, United States political figures.
– Tyrion understands love. Always fall for the girl that would cut off the faces of your enemies.
– Closed caption reveals that the name of that fat kid in Arya’s crew is “Hot Pie.” Hot. Pie. A boy’s name is Hot Pie.
– She didn’t get Tywin (obviously,) but still a very cool and satisfying end to Arya’s guaranteed three kills (which, doesn’t she technically owe Jaqen H’ghar now? Seeing as he killed an entire outpost of guards and all.)
– “I’ll give him a red smile, from ear to ear!” HA, classic one Joffrey. Classic…
– Poor farmer’s boys. Children of working class men just have no shot on this show.
– The Little Lords: The name of my new folk rock band.
Episode 9
– Ships.
– Shae, fucking her way out of everything since so far. Actually this was a really sweet moment between her and Tyrion and I’m sorry I belittled it.
– Varys thinks wedding bells are foreboding. FORESHADOWING!?!?!?! (I’m the worst.)
– I get it now. Cersei is both drunk on power and on wine.
– Major “oh shit” moment as I completely forgot about the wildfire. Obviously this series takes place prior to the ban on chemical warfare following World War One.
– The slate before this episode warned there would be graphic violence. Between a rock crushing a man’s head and The Hound slicing guys open, I’d say this episode delivers. It’s the brutality of the Normandy scene combined with the setting of The Battle of Helms Deep.
– The Hound’s defining character traits: 1) Doesn’t care for Joffrey, 2) DEFINITELY doesn’t care for fire, 3) Cares for Sansa’s well-being because he’s actually a human being, not a dog. Hey, he’s finally paying off as a character!
– OH MY GOD, SANSA IS HOLDING ONTO THE DOLL BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE FREE BUT SHE’S STILL GRASPING ONTO THAT LAST BIT OF CHILDHOOD. (you know, the part where you’re incapable of making smart decisions.)
– And then, for some reason, The National performed The Rains of Castamere.
Episode 10
– Inspire the troops, get wounded, get fired from your job. It’s a shit life.
– Tywin’s horse shits all over everything, in the most on-the-nose metaphor of the series to date.
– Uh oh Sansa, there’s a new queen in town. Must feel pretty stupid for sticking around now.
– “Your mother was like a sister to me, if I was Jaime Lannister and she was Cersei, na mean?” -Petyr Baelish succintly describes to Sansa his feelings about her mother.
– After seeing the way she slices a man open, I think Jaime Lannister might want him some of that Brienne. (Na meeeeean?)
– Oh, NOW Stannis cares about his brother being killed. IT WAS YOUR SHADOWY KNIFE-WIELDING VAGINA MONSTER CHILD ALL ALONG, or something.
– This time on Theon gets no respect… His throne is literally a rickety chair, some jerk keeps sounding a horn and his men react the exact opposite way he wanted to his inspiring speech, by knocking him out.
– Ok, for the first time I’m baffled as to what just happened with Jaqen H’ghar’s face. A man can be any man he wants to, apparently.
– Daenerys roasts that skinny warlock guy with some hot Dracarys action.
– Khal Drogo: “These are questions for wise men with skinny arms.”
Oh, scientists can’t get ripped, Khal Drogo!? Fuck you, you’re dead, who cares what you have to say.
– Nothing in the vault, which until now was only capable of being opened if Daenerys married Xaro. Clearly he never had anything to offer her and just wanted him some Targaryen action.
– Three times for White Walkers.
Fight This Generation 