Sansa Snark: Game of Thrones Season 8, Episode 6

Previously on recapping Game of Thrones… I mean, it was certainly an episode of Game of Thrones. That’s about the only non-controversial thing that can be said about what was either a masterpiece or the biggest crock of shit ever aired on television. This week, Sansa Snark presents…

Season 8, Episode 6: The Iron Throne

Only ~3000 more words to go before we can close the book on Game of Thrones forever. Who is sitting on the Iron Throne? What was the deal with that horse from last week? Was the true “Game of Thrones” the friends we made along the way? Let’s not waste anymore time!

Game of Thrones Season 5, Sansa Snark Blog: Episode 6

Photo: HBO

Previously on recapping Game of Thrones… We handed out completely arbitrary accurate and deserved Mid-Term evaluations. This week…

Season 5, Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

If last week it was hard to believe that this season of Game of Thrones is already half-way over, this week, it’s even harder to believe that Mad Men, one of the best television shows that I have ever had the pleasure of watching, is over forever. What will fill that void in my heart now? Sure, Game of Thrones is good, but is it Don Draper, Peggy Olson, tap-dancing Ken Cosgrove good? The only logical way to find out is to take a look at this episode, and this episode alone, and render a final judgement that I will then have to stand by forever. Can Game of Thrones, a show that has somehow tricked the masses into loving a hard fantasy story about medieval political machinations, fill the Mad Men shaped hole in my life?

Game of Thrones Season 5, Sansa Snark Blog: Episode 4

Photo: HBO

Previously on Game of Thrones: Throwin’ SHADE was the name of the game (of thrones.) This week…

Season 5, Episode 4: Sons of the Harpy

Of all the things that one can believe in, religion is the weirdest. People will go to extreme lengths, if they think it gets them right with the lord. For example, cutting an intricate insignia into your forehead and dispensing street justice on everyone deemed indecent could be something a person would do, if they were really into performing acts they thought pleased god. Then again, that person would also have to be insane. As it turns out, The Sparrows are really into pleasing god. As it also turns out, The Sparrows are a group of insane people. The Sparrows: The new gang in town. The Sparrows: Rising to unquestionable power in approximately 30 seconds. The Sparrows: Be holy or they’ll literally kill you. The Sparrows: Buhbuhbut their leader seemed so nice! These guys want to turn the back the clock to a time when King’s Landing was even more terrible, and sinners were punished properly for disgracing whatever is that sinners get accused of disgracing. Basically, play time is over, and if everyone who sins in King’s Landing is going to get “proper” punishment, The Sparrows are going to be the only people left in King’s Landing by like Episode 9.

Game of Thrones Season 5, Sansa Snark Blog- Episode 2

Photo: HBO

Previously on recapping Game of Thrones: Life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it. This week…

Season 5, Episode 2: The House of Black & White

In typical “Second Episode” fashion, chess pieces continue to get moved into place to set up the real action that we, the collective Internet, go crazy for. Some pieces are aggressive in the pursuit of what they want. Some pieces take a defensive stance to ensure survival later on. Some pieces are clearly controlled by a chess player with my skill level, because they don’t know what the hell they should do. Some pieces move to parts of the board that we didn’t even know existed, setting the stage for what look to be the best story arcs of the season. You know, just like that move in chess? I think it’s called the Norwegian’s Gambit.

Yep, just a whole lot of set up with the implications that there will be, in classic Stannis Baratheon fashion, a pay off later on down the road. But set up is no fun! So, this week I will supplement every section of this recap with a BOLD PREDICTION. They won’t necessarily make any sense, nor have a chance of actually happening. If I end up being right though, I’ll look like a genius, and that’s a risk I’m willing to take.