Sansa Snark: Season 7, Episode 2

Previously on recapping Game of Thrones… I can’t quit this. Also, an episode of a television show happened. This week…

Season 7, Episode 2- Stormborn

In exactly two episodes, Daenerys Targaryen has done more to make her story more interesting than she has in the previous 60 episodes combined. Is that a gross over-exaggeration? No, no it is not.

This whole Daenerys story has been quite the slowwwww…..wwwwwwwwwwwww burn. Heh, burn. Get it? Like dragons do! Folks! 

Sansa Snark: Season 7, Episode 1

It has been over a year since I last had to worry about Game of Thrones. Life is beautiful. My bank account is flush with cash, my jaw has stopped clicking, my coat has grown healthy and shiny. What even happened last season? A lot of people blew up? Cool, man. Sounds super interesting.

No one really knows how much actually goes into writing these: First I watch the episode closely, scribbling down notes the entire time. Then, I panic for up two days over how I’m going to approach things for that particular post. After that, I spend anywhere from like four to eight hours writing, editing, and coming up with dynamite zingers. After I’m finished, I share it on Facebook, wait for all them likes to just POUR IN, and enjoy what I’ve created for the rest of the day. Come Sunday, it’s rinse and repeat. It’s a lot, especially considering that I also have two freelance gigs, a podcast, and an actual job to worry about. At the end of a season, I am burnt-out.

So, when I found an opportunity to lazily, but effectively, write myself out of my own blog series in the season six finale outro, I decided to take it. What the hell, why not give myself an out, in case I truly was done this time. “Jeremy published his story, shut his laptop, and threw it out the window. He knew he would never be able to top himself. Ever. And now, his watch has ended.” At the time, I meant it, and I really did throw my laptop out the window (please do not fact check me.)

Game of Thrones Season 3, Sansa Snark Blog- Episodes 6-10

I need new friends.

I’ve started watching Game of Thrones. And seeing as I’m all caught up now, this will be the last entry in this series (awww….) until I figure out what to do once Season 4 starts airing in the Spring (YEAH!!!) It has been fun and this is a great show (though let’s be honest, it’s no *insert name of some other drama to piss Game of Thrones superfans off*.) Let us slightly mock the hard work of others one more time, shall we?

Previously on Game of Thrones… We said goodbye to Hot Pie (attracted by the allure of a baker’s life,) to Fake Young Ben Kingsley (burnt to a crisp by a toddler dragon,) and to Jaime’s sword stabbin’ hand (unceremoniously severed from Jamie’s sword stabbin’ arm.) Goodnight, sweet princes. And now, the conclusion.

Episode 6

– In case anyone was confused about how this show wants to characterize Sam, this episode opens with him unable to build a good fire.

– Bran gets a first-hand look at all the fun, vision-induced seizures he gets to looks forward to as he goes through life as a warg.

– “Forgive my manners; I don’t see many ladies these days.” -Beric, a character with one eye.
“You don’t see much at all bro! Ha HA!” -Me, a character who talks to the television.

– I will now be using “The laws of my fist are about to compel your teeth,” as my go-to, whenever appropriate.

– Cersei Lannister: Undateable.

– Ros, NO! Just another reason for everyone to hate Joffrey.

– “Life is all just one big climb up an imaginary ladder of chaos, or something.” -Oh Petyr Baelish, so wise. Especially when I’m totally accurately quoting your monologue from the end of this episode. Yep, no paraphrasing for comedic effect here.